Shame

                 Cynicism has been the end result of my year.  I remember being this way as a child.  then I remember getting better, and now i'm back at it again.  It's funny that I actually caught myself doing it because there are many people who make it a habit and later on doesn't realize how cynical they have become.  One of the main reasons for cynicism is expectations in life not being met.  It becomes layers and layers of disappointment that it seems like you can't even dig yourself out anymore.  Basically giving up.  I know i'm not the only one.

                   This year had so many wars that I had to fight.  And eventually having to lose to one of them.  IT is one of my hardest lessons in my life.  Learning to let go of something you have loved for so long.  of course, there is a win in this.  I get to move on.  I have been capable of eliminating communication little by little.,  One thing from this post-war, that I have yet to finish the battle, is trying to get the thought of him out of my head.  He still resides there within my memories.  And the majority of the invaders are the ones that contain the wonderful memories.  All those wonderful memories have always outweighed the bad ones.  Of course there are bad ones,  they were the minority of this war, but they were very painful none the less.  However, one of my strongest traits is my ability to forgive.  Forgive for they know not what they do.  And if they do know, I just hope that one day they will learn.  IF they don't learn, well, it's a shame.